“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Personal weaknesses are as common as having elbows halfway down our arms. Whatever form they may take, any disability can be an ongoing source of concern for the person who experiences it. Some weaknesses are temporary, like a broken bone that can be reset and healed. Others are more permanent, such as a chronic physical or mental disability. Whatever Paul was referring to in this passage, it was clearly an ongoing condition that substantially impacted his quality of life and, as a result, could have affected his service to the Lord.
As someone living with an ongoing mental disability (Bipolar Disorder), I have often prayed that the Lord would remove my “thorn in the brain,” to paraphrase Paul’s diagnosis. Wrestling with the cyclical extremes of this condition is a constant struggle, and it is certainly no mystery to me why suicide is more common among individuals with bipolar disorder than with any other mental illness. However, the blessed Master has made it perfectly clear that He is more than sufficient for my deficiencies and has used my disability to manifest His love and care in a uniquely personalized way.
Self-Importance
Paul’s primary understanding of why his disability persisted was its effectiveness in combating any sense of self-importance to which he might have been prone. This could have resulted from external sources, such as excessive praise from others, or possibly from a tendency to congratulate himself on his accomplishments. Either way, he recognized that his thorn was permitted by God as an ongoing reminder of his own weaknesses.
Some may frown upon the idea that God would wish to inhibit our so-called self-esteem, but that is precisely the point. We are not to esteem ourselves more highly than we ought, nor to esteem ourselves above others (Rom. 12:3; Phil. 2:3). A biblically balanced view of self-esteem keeps us from being paralyzed by our own failings while simultaneously remaining fully reliant on the enabling grace of God in our lives. Sometimes, maintaining this balance is difficult.
Self Sufficiency
Another common issue many of us face is the desire to be self-sufficient. It is typically ingrained in our upbringing and repeatedly reinforced in our culture that this is synonymous with being a mature adult. While this may have merit in many practical aspects, self-sufficiency is often the adversary of spiritual reliance on the enabling grace of God. No person can submit to two masters (Matt. 6:24), because when we are submitting to self, we are not submitting to the lordship of Christ.
The positive long-term effect of a permanent disability is a decrease in trust in oneself and an increase in trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul learned that the Lord allowed his thorn so that he could truly understand the all-sufficient grace of God at work in his life. This truth went far beyond a theological concept and became an ongoing experience in his service to the Lord. He seems to conclude that he could not, or would not, have learned this truth in any other way.
True Strength
David declared that “…every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah” (Ps. 39:5). Will we allow ourselves to fully absorb what is being said here, or are our egos too fragile to permit honest self-reflection? Paul’s reference to God’s word as a mirror (2 Cor. 3:18) is accurate, yet many of us need to get out the spiritual Windex more often and give our mirrors a good cleaning. If we do not, we will quickly embrace the kind of person we assume ourselves to be (Jam. 1:22-24) instead of seeing ourselves as God sees us. Isaiah experienced that this is necessary for each of us if we are to follow His leading in our lives (Isa. 6:1-8).
It is a liberating reality to come into that rich place where we realize that our own strength is like the grass that withers. It is an even greater freedom to know that the Lord’s strength is the best and most productive enabling we can have in our lives. And we can have it! We can truly experience Him at work in our character, so that He can use us in His work. By way of warning, until we reach that place, nothing we do for Him will have any enduring effect. All of our combined resources are microscopic compared to His omnipotence, which begs the question: “Why would I think for one second that my strength is up to the task in His service?” As ludicrous as this sounds, I still find myself falling into this way of thinking.
The Holy Spirit
Another reality that is sometimes relegated to passive theological dogma is the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit. As the divine Therapist, He has proven Himself time and again in my thoughts, filtering through various illusions and delusions with precision and care. He illuminates, organizes, and directs in ways that are nothing short of supernatural. Recognizing and agreeing that our natural faculties are woefully deficient, we can then become willing and blessed participants as He works within us.
When I am weak, then I am strong. This confident paradox glorifies the Lord Jesus Christ in complete harmony with the yielding of self. At first, it is an uncomfortable proposition because none of us likes to feel any sense of being out of control. During my own persistent nightmares, my overactive and vivid imagination creates frightening scenarios in which I have no conscious sense of reason available to sort things out while sleeping. Once awake, these delusions fall away and rationality prevails—thank God.
Wake Up, Get Up, Dress Up, Line Up
In the spiritual sense, we also need to be awakened from our sleep. Our days are limited, our nights are dark, and our times are desperate. “And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now, is our salvation nearer than when we believed” (Rom. 13:11). The day of our Lord’s return is drawing near. There are sinners to be reached with the Gospel and saints to be reached with teaching from God’s Word. We must cast off anything that keeps us bedridden, put on His gracious enablement, and line up, ready and willing to follow His leading in whatever He calls us to do.
Many believers can testify from personal experience that the God whom we serve is able (Dan. 3:17). He can—and does—turn the nightmares of weakness into the dreams-come-true of His all-sufficient grace.